s.h.e :)

Saturday, January 1

todae is the 1st dae of the yr 2005.. but im not happie.. it din started out well..
i spent it wif qin last nitez at her hse.. drank bit.. bit dizzy after tat... asked dar to fetch mi home.. cos he taking cab.. but he's so hesistant to fetch mi.. keith called.. he volunteered to fetch mi home.. *touched* cos he said,"i'm afraid u wun get home safely.." even a fren cares so much abt my safety.. n i started comparing.. liang n keith.. liang left billy bombers early.. to fetch mi.. wif ping.. 1st ting i sae was,"keith is much beta den u r" tink i was too pissed earlier on.. thou he came to fetch mi.. he was swt to leave his work place early to fetch mi.. nv had much fun i guess..i was realli moved but din show.. it was covered wif anger instead! we went to 7-11 makan.. den i called keith.. to wish hi happie new yr.. heex.. tok to tat DJ.. hahaz.. tat wilber pan-luk-alike.. suai wor! but who cares? i haf liang.. when i got home, dar sms mi.. told mi he's actualli feeling insecure.. as he tinks i stil lk keith.. n is jealous i supposed. his reasons was... i everytime tok abt him.. n in ytd's blog s enuff to prove.. the msn nick ting.. but the fact is, i dun lk him. he's onli my sistaz.. long time no mit le.. tat's y kip mentioning him.. kinda miz him mahx.. is it wrong to miz someone? i told keith abt it.. he felt bad.. n tink it's funnie as well.. cos he noe i wun lk him de.. n we're over.. long ago.. *sob sob*
next morning.. woke up. stil quite upset.. received dar's sms.. he asked if im fine.. den we started toking abt it again.. tis time more fire is added in da conversation.. argh! i was so fed up.. tat i asked for seperation at the verge of anger.. i den apologised. n explained.. i din meant it.. i sms ping.. he called mi.. n we chatted.. we called liang oso.. to check tings out.. i was sad.. wanted to go ecp.. but dar dun wan.. so i asked ping.. he so steady pom pi pi sia.. he lk nv tink den oki.. wah~ heex.. of cos.. i told yun tat i going out wif her darling lo.. ar bo, she dun tok to mi i die.. den oso dun haf shopping khaki le.. heex.. mi n ping chatted quite alot.. kinda lk a catch up session for us.. for the times when we were cold to each other.. nice! dar den sms mi.. sae wanna mit n sort ting out.. in da evening b4 he go his fren's hse party.. we met.. din realli sort ting out.. mebbe cos of the environment la.. at BK.. so mani pple.. n wif ping ard.. hard to tok la.. but at least i noe y he so cold le.. tink i was lk pulling a long face when im wif him.. haizz.. when waiting for bus, his fren called.. dey reach le.. i told him to go 1st.. den oso added,"i dun wanna see u" he luks sad after tat.. he asked,"nv again?" i nv reply.. he luks more sad.. i see him i oso feel lk crying.. ouch! my heart aches.. bus 135 came.. we parted.. we din hold hands when we met! argh! sms him when i was on bus.. "i tink u wanted a break up, do u? u feel tired to b in luv. ok we will break up.. tell mi when u're ready n stil luvs mi.. i'll b wait for u" he was lk huh? as long as u're happie oki le.. i dun wanna hurt u.. like now.. but either wae i oso wun b happie.. break up- sad.. contibue- if he still sianz, i oso unhappy.. he asked mi again.. for confirmation.. sms lia n ping.. for advice.. lia said frankly tat she tinks liang's been cold. ping said we sld sepearte for the time being. for us to settle down. n see how.. i took ping's advice which was wad i tink initially.. sms him.. we sld break. dar was reluctant.. he wanted to continue n sort ting out together.. i asked him to tink thru b4 deciding.. till now.. he haben reply..
i hope he'll make a decision which ll benefit both of us. . esp him.. i wan him to b happie not tired.. n oso wish to change his mindset on bgr..

-von luvs liang-

s.h.e girls
;11:16 PM