s.h.e :)

Tuesday, December 7

I'm going to talk about all this and den that’s it. No more sadness.

Today I saw FA1 in lecture! He had been MIA for a week, den today saw him – he looks so cute! But I realized I did not enjoy looking at him so much le. Cuz his looks just reminds me of dz. BOOO!

Just this morning a thought suddenly occur in my mind. Eh, I tot he says he would stay single till after NS. Den how come so fast got girlfriend already!? Why…. And I read his blog, he did say if I am willing to go back again, he will definitely treasure me. I’ll be lying if I say I don’t wanna go back, but history has been repeating itself for soooo long. And this time breakup is cuz… I had also realized the other time, I din wan to get back, cuz I couldn’t forgive myself. And also, for the fact that I couldn’t forget the way he can harshly dump and curse me one day, den want to pick me up again. The hurt is already inflicted, how can I forget? But I got my fair share of hurting him before too, I guess. I had been with him for 2 years plus, it’s not to say “let go and forget” and forget so easily. We had gone through so much, when I was a little freaking jay-fan ugly 15yr old girl to a …… wadever I am now.

There’s e 6hours break today. I had been suppressing in my heart not to ask him out for lunch to make up for e other day. Both of us need time, I think. I guess … I don’t want to elaborate in this.

Just now in lecture von showed us e keychain of hers and liang. Immediately I tot of e plastic keychain I had. It’s a present from jie, a pic of dz & I. damn nice! Den oso e heart shaped keychains he made when he’s in sec5.. there are so much things that makes me reminded of him!

Ahqi cannot be strong all the time. I need someone to complain to, to lend a leaning shoulder. But I will wait los. For now I can only be strong =D I’ve spitted out all that is blocking in my heart. I definitely want to move on with my life. I0'm not saying I will erase him outta my mind cuz no matter wad, it’s memories. Spent awhile in this bad state.. But it's time I crawl out of this state and start learning how to create a new life. Jia you jia you ahqi =p

s.h.e girls
;12:30 AM