s.h.e :)

Tuesday, October 26

I felt pissed. Anger. Sadness. Disappointment. Satisification.

I went out with ben today. GROANS! well... I guess I got myself prepared. there's some things which I knew that made me felt insecure, dat even if I went out with him, he may not b e ben I went out with e other time. I was right. PISSED- watched THE NEW POLICE STORY again! It's lk... ok, mebbe Im just 2 used 2 dz treatin me movies. LOL. den went mos burger eat... din eat much. He.... tried 2 touch me. I threw his hand away & said, "Im not even your girlfriend, y did u touch me?" wahahahah! He still did awhile..... den no more. In e movie oso no =) I guess I felt satisified with myself, cuz this time, ahqi did not stupid stupid kena cheated liao!! =p den immediately after movie, he said, go meet friend. I was!!!!!!!!!! u wan aeroplane me? den he said, I go along too. I was even more !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont even know ur friends, why shd I go? Im not even ur gf or wad lors *toot* I felt so confused & pissed yet lost. It's alex & his gf huiping, whom I read abt b4. they R pretty nice la.. honestly. den went play pool @ Paradiz Ctr (-__-'' so sick of pool now, honestly. Played 2 rounds with huiping & won =D 1 round with alex, 2 rounds with ben - and lost =( lol..

Well.. it's one of e worst date ever? I guess I felt e disappointment cuz... I tot ben & I shared smth diffferent & unique. And indeed we DID. now - no. e last day, durin e cinderella story time, we damn click lk dunno wad~ now.. we cant seem 2 even hold a decent conversation. Plus... I guess he got someone else in mind too. It's all a fairy tale 2 me, I guess. The Cinderella Story, where ben & I used 2 talk abt visitin each other's castles... to e dao mingsi story.. it's all stories. fantasies. *knock knock* Reality check time, ahqi.

honestly I felt really bad just now. he sent me 2 e mrt, said byebye. I just walked away without replying, even after he OIE me =p guess I pissed someone off? wadever. I tink after tonite it had marked e end of this fantasy? I felt so bad in e mrt.. not wan cry. but angry yet sad. wan call wen.. she's in class. von - she's with her friend. and I called angel's hse, den rmb she's in msia =( but went home.. talked crap with mommy, jiejie.. mood better. Den von called & chatted. Suddenly I guess I went all IM OKIE - that he's over, and I'll be fine without him~ and I felt smug abt me not on e losing end tis time =p very gan dong.. 2 read e comments. thanks, angel, von.. dezheng =)

after chattin with von.. in here. Den jack called me - to show his concern. lol.. "very good friend" indeed? heh.. den wen called me. I was lk, repeating e story 3 times! wahahah.. wen's comment was, "actually, right from the start, I dun have a good impression on ben..." yeah, just lk angel, von n dz. heh.. oks Im really clear now. =p But I stil dun tink he's BAD la.. ben. he juz showed some ungentlemanly act today.. he.... ... ok, he's bad. lol. nvm.. though today sucks.. I will get over it =) e chemistry does not exist anymore, I wun hold on to it.

juz nw a friendster friend msg me.. den he asked if Im single now or temporary break up. kao.. lol. den he said, is it ok for him 2 chase me... all tis.... ask me my workplace. got irritated. I juz replied, "actually I do mind u chasing me. I wan someone who I like, and someone who likes me. thank u very much." That guy is just a despo. lol.. heck. Indeed... lk von said, dun look for it. I will wait.. for someone to appear, someone who really really likes me. and someone I can really really like. =)

-lia =D

s.h.e girls
;12:28 PM