s.h.e :)

Sunday, October 10

UNDECIDED ROCKS!

It's so sad, I blogged damn much yst.. den it all disappeared once again. mebbe I shd start using msword. but nah, i gnore e sign "Done, but with Errors" hmmpph!

yst smth happened. It's all ok now so it's good, but it was.. ugh. Had been getting weird responses from dz yst.. call him, he dao dao de. nv msg.. talk oso lk wan hang off. i felt it but i din wanna say anything. I din wanna complain. At nite saw him on msn, den talk to him he bo chap, says Im bz with my work or bloggin. I was wth... so I asked him, u not happy abt smth? YES is da reply. sigh.. we talked it out abit, den he angrily left msn. He did that ALL THE TIME! I hate it when he just walked away, or hang off e phone. that's so running away! =( but I guess it's my tone. I wan to talk things out, and to him, I sound harsh. Groans

anw these are e things he said - in summary

- the old ahqi is gone. I had changed
- I am selfish
- I am a flirt
- I am vulgar now
- I did not think in his shoes

1st: ppl do change ma. did I change so much til e old ahqi is gone? sigh. 2nd & 3rd: got nothin to say abt that. I admit. 4rd: I guess ppl gets vulgar in their languages when they are feelin angry and bitter. someone I once knew did it dat way, n blame it on me! hmmpz. well.. I guess I did that too =p since e 16f*ck word of entry.. I seemed 2b more generous in these words. I mean, I do say them when Im angry, cuz when ur angry u cant help it! sigh.. cant k**, k** b**, f***... I am left with *toot*. lol.. 5th: That's always e problem. he tink I nv did in his shoes, did he even think in mine? That's e main prob!!

I cried till I crazy .. hahha. but well.. I tot of breakin up. I said that out. sigh. Bcuz all along he nv did forget abt e mistake I made.. He mentioned Benedict, den I totally sian half. I knew that no matter wad, he wun be able to forget abt it! so I said break up. but.. he said Im selfish to say break. But if I did e wrong thing and still wan him 2b with him, aint that selfish too? dz said, "If I can change, he will forget." I scolded him. "which idiot will still wan their gf when they did the wrong things behind his back!!!!" And dezheng said.." Im e idiot."

This fella is so unromantic, but that "Im e idiot" touched me. =) But I myself...... I knew that no matter wad, I commit e mistake b4, ppl will still rmb it. and that shd I just break off - so I can really learn it e hard way? I used 2 tink, break off ok. really. but in e end once I tink I cry. 2 years... lol. so after that, we talked & e harsh n angry tone is gone, slowly he input laughter in it.. =D

So I told him abt e story of benedict. lol. he din wanna listen, I forced him to =p I told him how different ben was, how sweet he is, and everything. of cuz he added comments.. lol. but e conclusion is, he like another girl. just like that. dz was (-__-'' and e only reason I can say is, I AM STUPID OK? I always get cheated =( lol.. so in e end dezheng set a few rules for me like...

- chalet can only stay 1 nite. (mum let me stay 2 nites!!! dun care =p He said I played 2 much at times.. but.. I really really like to have fun =p)
- cannot be f.l.i.r.t. (no more benedict le wad. but well.. he mentioned abt FA1 too =x so I shall just shudup abt FA1 lors =p)
- cannot be vulgar (ok, I will change. amen)
- be with him more (lol.. he's jealous when Im out with von on sat nite, but it's already2wks in adavance notice! lol)

I told him, I will change 2 e last time de AHQI~ But I do love having fun! hahaaha.. that's me la. lk e time Kbox, he's actually waking up as well waiting for me =x oops. n I told him abt me going out with guy friends.. I told him abt boon boon. that how impt boon is.. well, during e GAA times when no one cared for me... like they were talking to angel n von and I was just beside them and no one acknowledge me. that feeling really hurts... and boon is here for me. so... =)

at last everything is good now =D whew. I hate arguing. it's so tiring.

s.h.e girls
;9:09 AM